One day, while I was going through newspapers
in the morning, my wife who brought me coffee looked somewhat
concerned. In enquired what was the matter. She recalled the dream
she had in the previous night in which Swami warned her of some
impending troubles being the backlash of past karma and advised to
be careful. I reacted that if that happened to be the Will of
Baba, we should suffer it reposing full faith in Him and praying
to Him to protect us from any adverse situation.
The dream of Sai is not illusory. Swami had
Himself mentioned several times that all dreams prompted by His
Will, are very much real and dream is one of the methods of Swami
to communicate with His devotees. Thousands of devotees have such
dream experiences, which sometimes Swami Himself had confirmed
later on during a chance interview. As such I could not brush
aside the import of my wife’s dream.
I started observing great care and caution in
my daily activities. I avoided traveling on foot boards in the
electric trains even it resulted in delays in keeping up my
timings to attend my office and other appointments. I was trying
to be attentive whenever I visited the banks or else I used to ask
someone to accompany me, so that the money would be safe. Food
habits too totally changed. I tried to put a stop eating outside.
Every precaution was taken to avoid oily and heavy foods. Thus,
observing all possible care and caution, I continued praying to
Bhagavan to shield us in the event of anything happening untoward.
Nothing happened that might affect me, but this hope was short
lived.
Sai’s dream advice did come true. One day, in
spite of all the precautions, the inevitable happened and Sai’s
words in the dream came true. We fell on bad days due to my
impulsive behavior and action. How did it all happen?
I was occupying a fairly good position in a
company, graduating from lower levels. With dedication and
devotion to duty and good behavior, I earned a good name and
gained confidence of the owner of the firm. I commanded good
respect from his family members also, who were being inducted into
the business administration gradually. One day, during some heated
discussions with the youngest brother of the owner, I burst out
that I would have to resign if I was pushed further. It was indeed
a slip of the tongue. Has not Swami said, ‘Slip of a limb,
you can repair; but slip of the tongue, you cannot repair’.
The impulsive outburst of my tongue could not be repaired indeed.
The other party challenged me to do so, if I dared. In a fit of
temper I walked out of office, without thinking of the further
consequences. However careful I was to heed of Swami’s caution, in
a fleeting moment I lost my balance of mind and the inevitable
happened. The family members of the company were firm against any
amicable settlement for calling me back. Even the owner, who held
me in high esteem, did not wish to do anything in the interest of
his family. I was left high and dry and the slide down of the
slope started for me.
Young age had passed and I was entering
into the middle age stage. I could not secure any employment, for
quite long. There were prayers and prayers but nothing moved. At
times, hopeful positive developments seemed to be emerging but all
ended as a mere mirage in a desert. All the savings vanished and
we had to part with many of our valuables too. I was indeed being
squeezed by the clutches of cruel fate. Did not Bhagavan caution
us timely about the impending troubles? Still I rendered myself
vulnerable to get sucked into the inevitable march of events.
At long last, I could sight some light at the
end of the runnel. One of the disciples of my Guruji, Dhynai
Maharaj Madhusdhan Dasji, had an industry manufacturing
electricity measuring meters, bulk of which were sold to the
various state electricity boards. They offered me an agency for
the southern states. Feeling happy at the prospects, I moved and
settled down at Madras with my family. Very soon I succeeded in
establishing myself. I felt elated and I was ready to start
business of my own with good monetary prospects. However, the hand
of the fate was much longer. This development also proved to be
another mirage. The Managing Director of the manufacturing unit
suddenly expired. The industry itself could not be run and it
ultimately collapsed. The worst days of suffering followed us to
the unknown territory of Madras.
With all my savings vanished, I was stranded
in a place (Madras) where I was a stranger without any friends or
relatives whom I could have perhaps approached for assistance.
Living with a family became a hellish experience. However, I stood
firm on my faith in Swami and I utilized all my time in prayers,
meditation, and sathsang. I took active part in the local Sai
Center activities. It was only the love showered on me by Sai
Devotees of Madras that sustained me in those turbulent days. They
spent considerable time with us. Many of them visited my house
regularly, gave us consolation, and tried to help us within their
meas. But for their love and affectionate company, I would have
been a physical wreck in Madras. I was surviving by Swami’s loving
concern for us manifested through innumerable experiences I had. I
was passing through all the pains and sufferings in a detached
manner with the full faith that Swami was protecting us and that
no harm would come to us.
The deliverance came at the end of the
yearlong agony. My elders in Bombay, in spite of their
limitations, invited me back asking me to prepare for the
homecoming. Perhaps this was also the Will of Sai. I packed off
from Madras. My wife and my son were also anxious to get away from
Madras, where they could not adjust themselves having lived in a
totally different situation in Bombay. We bid farewell to our Sai
Brothers and Sisters in Madras who all the time acted as pillars
of confidence for me during those fateful days. I could catch a
glimpse of the break of bright dawn after a dark night. This time
there were no more mirages and things were turning positive though
in small way.
I got fixed up in a very small firm. I did
not mind. I accepted anything coming my way as the Mercy of Lord
Sai. Miraculously, I got back my own old house at Thane from the
tenant. We started our life all over again. We did not having
anything left with us except a few vessels for cooking purposes.
What was important to me was, that after a gap of 18 months or so,
I felt secure with a house, and a job. I could manage my affairs
by myself. Gradually I could work for improvements in my career
and in that hope I put in my best efforts, giving my utmost to the
growth the new company. It was small manufacturing unit and I
played my part to bring it up. With my sincere efforts and Swami’s
Grace, I could build up the new company. My new boss was very
happy with my efforts and within his limits he tried to alleviate
my financial problems.
After seemingly an indefinite period, there
was the Divine contact. One day, Swami appeared in the dream and
enquired, “How do you feel now?” And said, “
One cannot
escape the fate. It is better to go through the travails at a
convenient time, when you have the mental and physical strength
still with you. With God’s grace one can come out of it lightly.
On the other hand, if such travails were to occur at early or
later stages of life, it would have proved very difficult, causing
irreparable damage. Because you love God so much, Swami selects an
appropriate time for you to go through the act of repentance and
effects of Karma guarding you through and through. You may not be
aware of it but Swami had been by your side all the way through;
Otherwise you would have a different entity altogether.”
Swami continued. “You had been away from
your relatives and you thought that your wee stranded in a strange
place where there were none to come to your rescue. Yes, I was
very much with you! And you had the best friends and well-wishers
in the Sai devotees in Madras. You did experience their pure love
and affection. The pure love of such devotees was in no way
inferior to that of the Love of Swami. Whatever might have been
the situation; you were living a life of love. You felt that you
had lost everything in your life. What did you lose? The luxury
items? You were used to travel outstations and stay in comfortable
hotels for long duration. When the job is finished, you are
leaving behind everything back in the hotel and hurry back to your
own home. Do you regret for leaving the costly utilities back in
the hotel? No! You had a chance to enjoy and when the period was
over, you had no more attachments to those items outside. You love
what you have in your own home. Likewise, in your life also you
had a chance to own some items, which you had to leave behind. The
most important thing is that you have comeback in one piece and
you should be thankful to God. You can always rise in life and get
back every thing that you feel, had been lost!”
This dream prompted by Swami left a deep
impact on me. When we earn, we think it is our ability that makes
it possible. If we loose, then we start cursing ourselves, curse
God Himself. And if we happen to have some faith in God, then we
say that God is testing us unnecessarily. Why should God test us?
Has he no other work? No, God is not testing at all. We are tested
by our own past actions. We are ourselves creating our destinies
by our own acts. If God is doing something, it is only that He is
helping us out, toning down the effects by His mercy and grace,
provided we have deserved it. Swami is blessing us all without any
partiality. But the blessing should converted into Divine Grace,
if we are to benefit from such blessings.
Author's statement in:
http://in.groups.yahoo.com/group/SaiGroup-BombaySrinivasan/message/1
Many of you may
be aware that I had authored a book with the title "Sri Sathya Sai
Hrudaya Nivasi (Indweller of Hearts). This book had seen the third
reprint, and is being sold in Bhagavan's Bookstall at Prashanthi
Nilayam. Many of you would have purchased and many would not have
got chance to go to Parthi and get the book. After the third
edition, this may not go to print again. As such I wish to bring
the contents of this book to each and every one of you.
Starting from today I shall post one chapter every week or if
possible twice a week, depending upon the response I get from you
all. I would request you to kindly read it and then re-circulate
it to your other friends in the Sai Family.
The text could be transferred to your hard disk, and if possible
print outs taken out.
Utilize the contents, as much as you like.
With Lots of Love and regards
Bombay Srinivasan
