|
The
change
This is the transcript of a radio
talk on SGH by Sri B.N Narasimhamurthy; the Warden of Sri Sathya
Sai Student's Hostel at Brindavan. He is an excellent orator and
above all an ardent devotee of Bhagavan, serving Him in His
educational institutions for the past three decades.
The Change
The event that changed the course of my life happened in October
1965 when I was in my twentieth year. That was my first meeting
with Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba at Prasanthi Nilayam,
Puttaparthi. At that time I was studying in the University College
of Engineering at Bangalore, in my Pre-final year of the five-year
Engineering course. The prompting to go to Puttaparthi came to me
from a reputed educationalist of Karnataka, Narayana Bhatt. He was
lovingly referred to by his students and followers as "ANNA",
meaning elder brother. I had heard about Sai Baba of Puttapurthi
from other persons, before I met Anna; but much of it was vicious
criticism of Sai Baba. Therefore my attitude towards HIM was
marked by disbelief and ridicule.
In
September 1965, along with a few of my college mates, I attended a
meeting of the "Thinkers' Forum" started by Anna. The main aim of
this Forum was to inculcate idealism in youth, especially the
college students of Bangalore. About thirty students attended the
monthly meetings of this Forum regularly. Anna was a very
inspiring speaker and on that day he spoke about the then
prevailing National scenario and the importance of the role of
youth in the task of National rejuvenation. I was highly impressed
by his talk. His was a simple and straight forward approach to the
topic. He spoke about the inspiring examples of Swami Vivekananda
and Mahatma Gandhi. During the course of his talk he made a very
respectful reference to Sai Baba of Puttaparthi. The rebel and
sceptic in me could not accept what Anna said of Sai Baba. I
interrupted him in the middle and asked him a few questions about
Sai Baba. Anna did not mind my interruption and answered my
questions very patiently. But I was not convinced and so I made a
few caustic remarks about Sai Baba, saying that as a student of
science I could not accept what he said about Sai Baba's miracles.
Obviously I had lost my cool, but he had not. Anna asked me, "Have
you seen Sai Baba?" "No", I answered. My voice and the way I said
"No" made it clear that I was not interested in seeing Sai Baba.
He asked me again, "Have you read any books by Sai Baba?" "No". "Have
you read any books on Sai Baba?" "No", I answered again. "Have you
heard anything about Sai Baba from persons devoted to HIM?" "No.
May be the first one is yourself". My dislike for devotees of Sai
Baba was clearly manifested in my answer. Anna smiled and asked
me, "May I please know your name?" "Narasimhamurthy", I said
casually. Anna then said, "Narasimhamurthy, you say you are a
student of Science. You have not seen Sai Baba nor read anything
about HIM. You have not heard anything about HIM from HIS devotees
or admirers. Obviously whatever you know about HIM, you would have
heard from HIS critics. Is it scientific on your part to pass a
judgement on HIM?" There was neither vehemence nor sarcasm in his
voice. In fact it was full of love and affection. I was totally
disarmed, and did not know how to answer his question. But it was
amply clear that Anna did not like my discomfiture, and he
continued without waiting for my answer. He said, "I suggest you
should see Sri Sathya Sai Baba yourself and then come to a
conclusion about HIM." Any sense of triumph was conspicuous by its
absence in his voice. On the other hand I got a feeling that he
was uncomfortable about my predicament. He said, "I like your
frankness and forthright nature. If you have time, kindly meet me
afterwards". "Yes sir, thank you", I said and felt relieved. The
meeting concluded after a while.
Later Anna talked to
me and two of my classmates separately. He answered all our
queries with deep understanding. The discussion continued for
nearly two hours and at the end, I should say I was completely won
over by Anna. But I could not get over my scepticism about Sai
Baba, though I was willing to go to Puttaparthi to see HIM.
Finally Anna said, "I am going to Puttaparthi next month. If it is
convenient for you, you may come with me". I accepted the
invitation very willingly. Thus the eagerness to see Sai Baba was
aroused in my heart, and it grew day by day.
Within a month I
visited Puttaparthi and had the Darshan of Sai Baba. HE called me
for a personal Interview and I stood facing HIM in the vibrant
atmosphere HIS room. HIS loving smile touched the softest corner
of my heart. He looked at me as if HE knew me for ages. A similar
feeling was roused in me. HE said, "You have come here late since
you listened to wrong things spoken by others. That is all right.
You have indigestion. Not in your stomach, but in your head!" HE
smiled heartily and continued, "You are worrying too much about
your future. Do not worry. Your future is safe and secure in
Swami's hands. Be happy." I was overwhelmed by HIS love and
concern and dumbstruck by the correctness of the statements made
by HIM. I could not speak a word. Thus Sai Baba became my Swami,
the Divine Master.
Let
me now tell you what Swami meant by Indigestion in my head. Both
my mother and father were highly devoted to God. Even today I
remember very clearly the annual Sathya Narayana Puja performed at
our home, when I was studying in primary school. It was performed
with great devotion and not merely as a ritual. I used to take an
active part with much enthusiasm in making arrangements for the
Puja, and also sat by the side of my parents throughout the
ceremony. At least a hundred persons would be fed at our home
after the Puja. My parents encouraged me to visit temples on
festival days and listen to Hari Kathas, the stories of GOD.
During the week long celebration of Sri Rama Navami festival, I
listened to Hari Kathas day after day with great enthusiasm and my
heart resonated with deep feelings of devotion to these stories of
great devotees and I instantly memorized those stories and songs.
Many times my mother would ask me to sing the songs that I had
learnt, and she would enjoy listening to them. Faith in God and
kindness to fellow beings are hallmarks of my saintly mother. I
feel proud to be the son of such a mother who embodied true Indian
womanhood. But as I grew up and entered the high school, somewhere
the silken bond of love for God in my heart was cut and I stopped
visiting temples and attending religious functions. Even when I
did it, I did it with a little compulsion and as an empty ritual.
Probably one important reason for my forgetting God completely was
too much of attention and adoration I received everywhere because
of a brilliant brain and a photographic memory, in an educational
system where moral and spiritual training was totally absent.
When I passed out of
the school and joined the Engineering College in Bangalore, I came
under the influence of Marxist philosophy which had become, among
the students and teachers at that time, a passion with some and a
fashion with others. I should say that spontaneous sympathy for
the poor which I inherited from my mother was the cause for my
Marxist leanings. A superficial study of Karl Marx and Lenin made
me a proud atheist. I took great pride and joy in looking for
believers among my college mates and friends and engaging them in
arguments over the existence of God.
Life went on
smoothly for me for nearly two years in the new-found joy of
youthful intellectual arrogance, riding utopian idealism of a new
world, freed from all types of inequalities. But God, to whom I
had prayed earnestly in my childhood, did not forget and dismiss
me in spite of my becoming an atheist. My mother's prayers for me
could be one more reason for God forgiving my faults. He sent two
of HIS most terrible hounds to hunt me down and take me to HIMSELF.
One was the fear of death which seized me suddenly, and the other
was the mystery of life in this enigmatic universe.
Both of them became
obsessions of my mind. I could not get them out of my thoughts
even for a moment. I lost all zest for life and spent many
sleepless nights. There was none with whom I could confide. When I
confided my problems to the Principal of the College where I had
studied my Intermediate Course, he very simplistically fixed an
appointment for me with the Director of Institute of Mental Health,
who was his good friend. But I was sure that nothing was wrong
with my mind; instead, I used to wonder why others were not
haunted by those problems and how they could sleep over those
stark realities of life.
For nearly three
months I led a life of mental turmoil and torment. My life became
very disorderly and in-disciplined, and my attendance in classes
became very irregular. Parents were away in a town forty miles
from Bangalore, where I stayed in the University Hostel attached
to the Engineering College. My deep attachment to my parents made
me hide my suffering from them. What compounded my agony was that
there was now no God to pray to. But the merciful God did not wait
for my prayers. He sent one of His angels in the form of my
classmate to rescue me from my hopeless state.
His name was Madhav,
and I had met him for the first time in my high-school days in a
neighbouring town. I had gone there to represent my school in an
intra-school debate. Madhav represented his school in that town.
We had met each other thrice in our schooldays on similar
occasions in different towns. We became classmates in the
Engineering College but there was no friendship between us in the
first two years. Ideologically, there was no meeting ground. He
was a staunch follower of Sri Ramakrishna and Swami Vivekananda.
In those days I despised and even looked down upon believers.
Madhav and I lived in the same block in the hostel, separated by
three rooms. Because of inner turmoil, I was leading a very
disorderly life at that time. My books, clothes and other
belongings lay thrown around the place in my room, which I shared
with two other college mates.
One evening when I
got up from a long nap I was surprised to find my place tiny and
clean. My roommates had not done it nor did they know who had done
it. The same thing repeated on the next day also. I wanted to find
out my benefactor on the third day. I lay down on the cot
pretending to be asleep and waited. After about thirty minutes,
Madhav entered. He cleaned up the place, set my books and clothes
in order and then went away. I could not fathom his intentions in
doing it. I went to his room that evening and confronted him with
the question, "Why did you do it?" He just smiled and said, "I
like you, and I like to do it for you. That is all." His warmth
was very soothing for my troubled heart. From that day, our
friendship developed.
We spent quite a lot
of time discussing and debating our ideologies with no meeting
ground, apparently. However, there was one thing common to both,
and that was our natural sympathy for the poor and the down
trodden. Gradually I confided my inner troubles and turmoil to him.
He said that those were the signs of a true spiritual aspirant,
and that I should develop faith in God. I rejected his remark
vehemently, and wanted him to prove to me scientifically the
existence of God. He failed to convince me and I bombarded him
with the ideas of many Western agnostics that I had studied. He
surprised me by saying that he was praying to Sri Ramakrishna for
my happiness and solace.
One evening we went
out of the hostel after dinner for a walk in the Cubbon Park which
was nearby. Our claims and counterclaims on the topic of existence
of God lasted nearly three hours. At the end, both were exhausted.
I felt that mental unrest had penetrated into him also, since I
had disturbed his faith in God. Finally I told him, "I am sorry
for what I have done to you. All my logic and rationalism have not
given me any happiness. I could see your faith in God had given
you happiness and peace which I have disturbed now. Believe me; I
want to know whether God exists. And if HE is merciful as all
believers claim HIM to be; there is no reason why I should not
develop faith by tomorrow morning."
When we returned to
hostel, it was past midnight. I entered my room and put on the
table lamp. I found a magazine which Madhav had left on my table
before we went out. There was a lovely picture of Jesus Christ
that adorned the cover page. There were strange feelings in my
heart. Suddenly I broke down and wept bitterly. With tears rolling
down the eyes, I put out the table lamp and went to bed. A
surprising prayer went out from my troubled heart: "Oh GOD, if You
really exist, if You are all merciful as Your devotees claim;
shower Your kindness on me and grant me faith."
I do not how long I
cried in my bed before sleep overtook me. When I got up late in
the morning the unbelievable had happened. I had faith in God. My
mental torment of three months had ended with the gift of faith
from the All-merciful One. I ran to Madhav and told him what had
happened. His face lit up with joy, he hugged me and danced. It
was a day great celebration for both of us. Our friendship assumed
a new meaning for me from that day.
As I evinced
interest in Ramakrishna's and Vivekananda's literature, Madhav
gave me some books. Among the very first books I read was Jnana
Yoga by Swami Vivekananda, which quenched my intellectual thirst
to know about the mystery of death and the enigma of creation.
Later I studied the life of Sri Ramakrishna, and it satisfied my
heart's hunger to be with God. But I could not reconcile myself to
the idea of Avatar, God coming down as man on earth. There could
be men of God, call them Saints, Prophets or Messiahs. But how
could God, the Inscrutable and Infinite Power sustaining the
Universe, be born on this tiny earth, which is but a spec in this
vast Universe. Of course, I prayed to God for an answer.
Madhav and I,
visited Sri Ramakrishna Ashram in Bangalore, attended the prayers
and met the monks there. Madhav confided to me his desire to join
the order of monks of the Ashram after his education. I was not
decided about my future. Though my spiritual quest had found the
answer in Ramakrishna and Vivekananda, I was finding it difficult
to shake off the political idealism instilled via Marx and Lenin.
I had also found a new political idol in Mahathma Gandhi. In
addition, I was also thinking as to how I could help my parents in
bearing the burden of a large family with eleven children, who had
to be brought up and educated. Of course, I found a new strength
in prayer to God, which quelled the turbulence of my restless mind,
at least temporarily. But the worries about my future remained,
even as my affinities to Sri Ramakrishna grew in intensity, day by
day.
A few months, later
one of my relatives invited me to his farm house on the outskirts
of Bangalore. After lunch, I went out alone into the coconut grove
for a stroll with a book on Sri Ramakrishna in my hand. It was a
beautiful day with a cloudless sky, and the winds were very calm.
I sat down under a coconut tree and opened the book at random.
There was a beautiful photo of Sri Ramakrishna with his face
glowing with kindness. I sobbed like a child looking at his face
and prayed to him, "Oh., Compassionate Master, You were on this
earth a hundred years before, to guide wavered children like us
drifting in the ocean of Samsara but who is there today? We are
orphaned without you. Kindly take hold of our hands and guide us
to Yourself." This prayer continued in my heart ceaselessly for a
few days. That was in August, 1965. Things started happening fast
after that prayer.
In the month of
September I met Anna in Bangalore and was prompted by him to go to
Puttaparthi to see Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba. On coming to know
of my leanings towards Sai Baba, Madhav tried to dissuade me from
going to Puttaparthi by saying that Sri Ramakrishna has warned
earnest seekers against going after men of miracles. Usually,
those who perform miracles are Sadhakas or fallen Yogis, deluded
by Siddhis or occult powers, who have left the sacred path, to
pursue name, fame, pleasures and wealth. I tried to persuade
Madhav to meet Anna and know more about Sai Baba. But he refused.
When I raised this topic of Sri Ramakrishna's warning to seekers
about men of miracles, Anna smiled and said that what Sri
Ramakrishna had said was completely true in respect of Yogis or
Sadhakas, who have not reached the goal. It did not apply to
Avatars and Siddha Purushas who perform miracles, keeping in their
view LOKA SANGRAHA, the welfare of the world, and to sow seeds of
faith in the hearts of men. Did not Sri Ramakrishna himself pray
for the Darshan of Sri Krishna who performed amazing miracles? Sai
Baba is a Poorna Avatar like Sri Krishna, Anna told me.
In October 1965 I
went to Puttaparthi and was conferred the Divine blessing of
Darshan, and Sambhashan by Swami. I had found my Divine
Master in Swami. It did not take much time for me to realize that
HE had prepared me, before leading me to HIMSELF. It was baptism
by fire. My heart started clamouring for HIS Sannidhi more
and more. HE occupied my mind more and more. It did not mean that
all doubts and questions inside me had vanished. The monkey mind,
propelled by the sharp brain, continued to play its tricks now and
then. Prayer and Namasmarna helped me a lot and there was
Anna, always ready to guide. But I was separated by a distance of
about hundred miles from Swami and two hundred and fifty miles
from Anna.
In October 1965, I
was still left with one and half years of Engineering Course at
Bangalore. I made it a point to go to Puttaparthi, at least once
in a month and never miss any festivals there. During festivals
like Swami's Birthday, Shankranthi, Shivrathri,
Guru Poornima and Navarathri, I could meet Anna
there and also listen to the nectarine Discourses of Swami. When
Swami was in HIS Ashram in Brindavan, near Bangalore; I went there,
mostly with Anna, who came down from his village, Alike, near
Mangalore. Whenever I went to Puttaparthi, on days other than
festivals, Swami was very kind to call me and talk to me, lovingly
and intimately. The topics were always spiritual, and related to
the deepest aspirations of my heart. HE never asked me about my
studies at College or happenings in our family, even once.
In one of the early
interviews, HE resolved a deep dilemma, arising out of my strong
affinity for Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, by speaking in the
terminology of the Great Master. HE said, "It is extremely
difficult to conquer Kamini and Kanchana, my son.
But, do not worry. You enjoy Divine Grace in abundance. Swami will
grant you peace of mind." Kamini Kanchana was a phrase very
often used by Sri Ramakrishna, to indicate the two major obstacles
in the path of a seeker; craving for sensual pleasures and wealth.
Thus my heart knew that Swami had in HIM, Sri Ramakrishna also.
On another occasion, Swami granted me HIS Divine assurance saying,
"You have a strong aspiration to lead a sacred life and attain
fulfilment. But your parents have other ideas. You need not worry
over it. I shall change their mind." My parents, especially my
mother, were afraid, that I might run away from the world, and
become a Sanyasi or monk.
As days passed, a
very strong desire to be with Swami all my life, without getting
entangled in family life, developed in my heart. I kept on praying
to Swami, for this boon, day after day. It was an inner prayer,
which was never expressed in words, even to Swami. Nevertheless,
HE responded to my prayer, in one of those early interviews. HE
told me, "Swami will take you nearer and nearer. HE shall grant
you the good fortune of serving HIM." Now, when I look back, I
find that, HE has kept all the promises HE had made. But, I have
certainly failed to keep up many of the promises, I had made to
HIM. I can only say that, this is the difference between God and
man!
Apart from my
spiritual needs, Swami looked after my worldly needs, too. Even
during my college life, HE solved miraculously one of the problems
related to my studies, and strengthened my faith in HIS
Omnipotence. I had to write my pre-final Engineering Examination
in March/ April, 1966 and that was six months after my first
Darshan of Swami. During my sojourn in Engineering College, I
was not very regular in my studies, for two reasons. The first was
my obsession with the study of books and magazines, not related to
the Engineering Course. The books of my interest at that time were
those on literature, political ideologies, and political thinkers.
The second reason for my neglecting my course was my
over-confidence in my intelligence and memory power. I would study
my course subjects for only a month before the annual examination
and still manage to secure a first class.
After I met Swami in
October 1965, I neglected my studies completely. Most of the time
was spent in reading books on and by Swami. Also I missed many
classes during my trips to Puttaparthi. Even in the classes that I
attended, I could not concentrate properly. When the annual
examination approached in March /April 1966, I tried my best to
concentrate on studies. Three days before the examination started,
I was shocked by the disappearance of Madhav from his hostel room.
He had left a note on his table which read, "I am going in search
of Truth. None should worry about me and search for me." I roamed
around all the places which he would normally visit, in Bangalore,
but could not find him. I learnt from one of the monks at
Ramakrishna Ashram, Bangalore, that Madhav might have gone to
Belur Mutt, Calcutta, to join the order of monks as a
Brahmachari. Next day, I went to Madhav's native town, which
was fifty miles from Bangalore, to meet his parents. It was heart
rending to see their grief. Madhav was the eldest son of the
family and he had four brothers and sisters. This was a
lower-middle class family. I shared their grief and felt that none
should desert ones parents, brothers and sisters in such a
condition, for any cause, however noble it could be. I prayed to
Swami for Madhav's return to his house.
I returned to
Bangalore, a day before the examinations. My concentration was
totally disturbed. I did my best to study and write the
examinations. That was my worst performance ever in any
examination. Till then, I had never secured anything less than the
first class. When I returned home after the examinations, I felt
very sad for my parents, imagining their disappointment over my
poor performance in the examinations. Meanwhile, Madhav returned
home, after fifteen days. The authorities at the Belur Mutt had
advised him to complete his course of studies first, and then go
there. His return brought great joy to his parents. I was there in
his house to share their joy.
As expected, I
secured only a second class in the pre-final examination, to the
utter disappointment of my parents, especially my father. He was
worried about my future. I could not bear to see his worried face
and promised him that I would secure a high rank in the final
examinations, next year. My promise brought some cheer to my
parents. Finally my course started in June 1966. However much I
tried to concentrate on my studies, I was not successful. I had
not achieved the balance between work and worship. It was like a
new priest, trying to wave the Aarthi with right hand,
ringing the bell simultaneously with the left; and could do
neither successfully.
I had to choose
either studies or Swami. I forgot my promise to my father and
chose the latter. Still, I hoped that I would study well for a
month or two before the annual examinations in March/April 1967,
and do well. But it was not to be. A month before the examination,
I prayed to Swami, "Lord! YOU have assured me that my future is
safe in YOUR hands. The forthcoming examination is YOURS and not
mine! Help me to keep my promise to my father!"
I tried my best to
study and write the examinations. But the performance was much
below par, definitely not better than the previous years. In one
subject related to drawing, I could attempt answering only 34
marks out of 100. The minimum for a pass was 35. I returned home
after the examinations. My anxious father asked me, how I had
fared in the final examination. I said that I had done well, for
fear of disappointing him and making him unhappy with the actual
facts. I was sure that I would fail in one paper. I had not done
well in other subjects also. I started feeling miserable as the
day of results approached, but my diffidence, arising out of bad
performance in the examinations, became an obstacle in the path of
my prayers. Surely, it was lack of firm faith in the words of
Swami.
A week before the
announcement of results I confided to my father, that I had not
done that well. But, I was not bold enough to tell him that I
might fail in the examinations. He asked me, if I would get at
least first class. I answered in the affirmative. But I prayed to
Swami for HIS forgiveness, for having told a lie to my father.
Panic and confusion gripped me on the day prior to the
announcement of the results. I had no courage to show my face to
my parents, after failing in the final year Engineering
examination. I was totally distraught at the prospect of failing
in the examinations, for the first time in my life. I quietly left
my home and went away to a neighbouring town, where Madhav lived.
I stayed in his
house that night and confided to him my fears. That night became a
most forgettable one for my parents and others at my home. In
panic, they looked for me every where in the town. They spent a
sleepless night. On the other side, Madhav tried to give me solace
and courage. He talked, through almost the entire night. At the
end of it, I told him that the only hope for me was the Divine
Grace of Swami. I hoped for a miracle by Swami, to salvage me .But
that faith was not complete, so the fear continued to haunt me.
Madhav convinced me
that I should go back to my home next morning. In fact, he
accompanied me back to my town, which was twenty two miles from
his. As we got down in the bus stand, news papers greeted us in
the stands. But I was not eager to look for my result in the
examinations, because of my pessimism. I instinctively wanted to
postpone the time of learning the unpleasant news. I told Madhav
that the newspaper would be available at home. As we were walking
down towards my home, one of my younger brothers came running,
with a news paper in his hand. His face was brimming with joy. He
shouted with uncontrollable glee, "Brother, you have secured a
rank, Congratulations!" Neither Madhav nor I could believe it. I
could hear my heart beat. Madhav grabbed the news paper from my
brother's hand and looked into it. My name was in the rank list.
He congratulated me. My eyes were filled with tears of gratitude
to Swami. I whispered to Madhav, "It is surely a miracle of
Swami!"
When we entered my
home, the celebration had already started. Everyone congratulated
me on my distinction. All the time I was telling Swami in my heart,
"Swami, thank YOU very much. Forgive my lack of faith in YOUR
words." Next morning I went to my college office in Bangalore and
received my provisional marks card. Almost in every paper, I had
secured at least five marks more than what I had attempted for;
and in Engineering Drawing, I had got 37 marks! While I was
returning home, I pondered over how Swami had influenced the minds
of at least ten examiners, and lost myself, in the Bliss of
complete gratitude, to the Divine Master.
I returned home and
showed the marks card to my father, who was agog with joy, at his
son's achievement. I did not tell him about the Divine Miracle,
which had helped me in my achievement, since my father had his
reservations about Swami, at that time. That night, I confided to
my mother, in detail, the handy work of Swami in helping me pass
the Engineering degree examinations, with distinction. My tender
hearted mother was quickly touched by the kindness of Swami and
expressed her desire to go with me to Puttaparthi, to offer our
gratitude to HIM. Probably, she also wanted to pray to Swami to
remove her fears, of her dear son becoming a Sanyasi. She
would have thought that, only a miracle of Swami could restore her
child to herself.
Within three days,
my mother and I left for Puttaparthi. We were accompanied by one
of my sisters, younger to me by three years. She had developed
great faith in Swami, by that time. As soon as Swami saw us, HE
called us for an interview. HE accosted me with a question, waving
HIS forefinger at me, a mischievous smile adorning HIS beautiful
face. "Hey! How did you pass the examination?" Words failed me. I
fell at HIS feet, tears drenching HIS robe. I could barely blurt
out, "Swami I passed only because of YOUR Divine Grace." Swami
then chided me for what I had done, on the day prior to the
announcement of results, and added with HIS right hand on HIS
chest, "At least now onwards, develop steady faith. Swami will
never desert any one who trusts HIM."
All the while, my mother was nodding her head with tears of joy in
silent approval. The Master had already divined her feelings. HE
told her, looking at me mischievously, "Now that he has finished
his education, your burden will be reduced by getting him married,
is it not?" My mother's face lit up with intense joy and deep
sense of gratitude to Swami. She exclaimed, "Yes Swami!" Swami
then looked at me and asked, "Hey! Is it not true?" I blurted out,
"No Swami". Swami said seriously, "What do you mean by that? Do
you have a steady mind even for five minutes?" With a feeble and
unsteady voice I answered, "No Swami". "Do as Swami tells you", HE
commanded and continued, "Help and serve your parents". My mother's
cup of joy was full. Her faith in Swami's Omniscience was
complete. Swami led us out of the interview room, after
materializing vibhuthi for us and granting Pada Namaskar.
My mother and sister left Puttaparthi for home, the same day,
while I continued to stay at Puttaparthi. The next day, Swami told
me, "Develop will power to control your mind. You have Swami's
Grace."
My faith in His
Grace was firm. I knew for sure, that the Lord, who had changed
me, would surely change my mother's mind. I had the faith that I
would be blessed to offer my life in service to Him. Today as I
look back, I know that my faith, did work miracles!
Source:
Radio Sai
E-Magazine, 1st October 2003
http://www.radiosai.org/Journals/03OCT01/Memories/The-change.htm
and
Radio Sai
E-Magazine, 15th October 2003
http://www.radiosai.org/Journals/04OCT15/Memories/The-change.htm
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