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  Anil Kumar's Sunday Satsang at Prasanthi Nilayam
January 4, 2004

The Sunday Talk Given by Anil Kumar

“Vaikuntha Ekadasi”

Part II

January 4th, 2004


Sai Ram

With Pranams at the Lotus Feet of Bhagavan,

Dear Brothers and Sisters,


I welcome you all to this morning’s satsang. This is the first for the year 2004. I am sure that you must have known the importance of yesterday. For those who do not know, I will say a few words about it. Yesterday we observed a special festival celebrated in this country, by the name Vaikuntha Ekadasi. What does it mean? Here are a few thoughts on it:

That which is not divided, rather that which is undivided, is Vaikuntha. We translate Vaikuntha into English as ‘paradise’ or ‘heaven’, but that is not an in-depth translation. That is just a common verbal translation. But actual ‘vaikuntha’ is that which is not divided, non-dual, and which is a state of experience. Vaikuntha does not necessarily mean the paradise of our epics. It is not necessarily the heaven of our knowledge. Vaikuntha is neither heaven nor a paradise. Vaikuntha is a state of experience, which is blissful and non-dual. Vaikuntha is the first part.

The second part is Ekadasi. In Sanskrit, dasa means number ten; eka means one. In number ten, one is eka. I think I am clear. So, in dasa, the number one is God. This means God is the Hero, while the rest is zero! Dasa, Ekadasa. So, in this number dasa, the number one (eka) is the Creator, and the number zero is creation. Creation is zero, while the Creator is the Hero.

Repeatedly, Bhagavan has said, “One zero has no value, two zeros is just nonsense, three zeros is madness. Any number of zeros is of no use at all. Once you put one and zero, you get ten. Then one with two zeros is hundred; one with three zeros is a thousand. With one, all these zeros find their value. Similarly, in dasa (ten), eka (the one) will give value to the zero. God is the One who gives value to this creation, which is zero.”

So, yesterday’s celebration Vaikuntha Ekadasi means the realisation of the importance of the Hero, God. We also need to understand that we are zeros, that we get our value only because of the Hero. That is the significance of yesterday’s celebration called Vaikuntha Ekadasi.


The story, as per the epics, goes like this: The ocean was churned. The ocean of milk was churned. Out of the churned ocean of milk arose nectar or what is called amrita. This amrita was distributed to the angels. That’s how the story goes. The churning of the ocean of milk brought about the distribution of amrita to all the angels. That marks the day of Vaikuntha Ekadasi.

Bhagavan Baba, our latest God, takes us to the depth of the celebration. He conveys to us the inner significance.


In English, amrita is ‘nectar’, but that does not convey its depth. Sanskrit words are so deep and profound that they cannot be translated into other languages. Just to give you an example, it is like showing the moon with our fingers. We carry our grandson in our arms outside to show him the moon. We point our fingers in between the branches of a tree, saying, “There is the moon, there is the moon in the sky!” Actually, it is not there. Right!

Just as we indicate to our grandson the position of the moon there in the sky, by pointing between the branches of a tree, we also indicate just superficial meanings of certain words in our translation of Sanskrit. I do not think that I can convey the meaning in-depth, because I do not know Sanskrit. Nor would anybody be able to do it as every language has its own freshness and uniqueness. Once any language is translated into another language, fifty percent of the charm is gone. After all, plastic surgery is plastic surgery. Original beauty is original beauty. (Laughter)

Original teeth are different from dentures (Laughter). Listening with the natural ear is different from earphones. Similarly, translation is just an artificial attempt. I know my limitations. That’s why many times I falter, fumble and stand corrected, to your amusement. (Laughter) When that happens, I am also quite happy about it. Yes! In the midst of seriousness, when the translation is corrected, it makes everybody laugh. It is a healthy break. (Laughter) Good. Why not!


Amrita is nectar, but Bhagavan gives us the meaning in a different sense. Anruta means falsehood and to utter lies. Amrita means absolute truth. Now Bhagavan interprets it like this: Amrita, the truth, was distributed to the angels because they had fallen from the path of amrita and were treading along the path of anruta or falsehood.

So, if anyone is treading along the path of falsehood, unreality, untruth, illusion or delusion, God ‘distributes’ the path of reality, the path of light, the path of knowledge, the path of wisdom. In other words:

Lead us from untruth to Truth.
Lead us from darkness to Light.
Lead us from death to Immortality.

Asatoma Sat Gamaya
Tamasoma Jyotir Gamaya
Mruthyorma Amritam Gamaya

Lead us from death to Immortality. Death is anruta; Immortality is amrita. So, distribution of amrita happened on that day, which is called Vaikuntha Ekadasi. In brief, that’s the significance of yesterday’s celebration of Vaikuntha Ekadasi all over the country.


Now you may be wondering, “Why not celebrate it here?” Etiquette may make you remain silent, but I am sure most of you must be entertaining this thought. “Why is there no celebration of this festival in Prasanthi Nilayam?” I request all of you to hear me attentively.

Why? When Vaikuntha Ekadasi is celebrated all over the country, why not here? Here, this festival is not just a special celebration of one day. Distribution of amrita, meaning distribution of truth, distribution of reality, is done day-in and day-out here, not necessarily or specially on Vaikuntha Ekadasi day only! (Applause)

Therefore, everyday is Ekadasi. Everyday, every occasion, every moment, every minute, every second is Vaikuntha Ekadasi. The distribution of amrita -- the path of reality, the path of wisdom, is shown to us in Bhagavan’s conversations and Bhagavan’s gestures. Swami says Vaak-amritha means the amrita of the discourse, the amrita of the Divine conversation, the nectar of the Divine dialogue. When that is happening all the time, what is the fun of celebration on a special day? That’s how I understand it.

As I wanted to draw your attention to some of these important points, I chose to begin my talk with these comments and observations. We pray to be benefited by this Vaak-amritha, the Divine nectar, the Divine dialogue, and the nectarine discourse, that they may lead us all from untruth to Truth. May we all get out of the darkness of ignorance and come into the light of wisdom! May we all get out of this death and move towards Immortality!


My friends, before I say more, I want to say that there is no death at all because there is no birth. I may sound nonsensical. Some may even suspect that I am from a mental asylum! I am not. (Laughter). At least, not at this moment! (Laughter)

There is no birth; there is no death! How can I say that? The five elements around, the five basic elements, take a concretised form, take a crystallised, definite name and form, in the form of the body. Body is nothing but the surrounding concretised five elements. The five elements are precipitated, crystallised and centred in a finite way, in a limited form. That is the body. That’s what we call ‘birth’. Birth is followed by growth. Growth is followed by decay. Decay is followed by death.

So, what do we mean by death? While alive concentrated, at death the five elements would go back to their sources. The air there will be merged into the air around. The fire there will go back to the fire element. The water here will go back to the water, and so on. That’s all.

So, the appearance of the body is birth, while the disappearance of the body is death. But you and I do not die. We don’t die! That’s all. We appear in the physical form after ‘birth’. When we no longer appear in the physical form, it is called ‘death’. Only ‘I’ remains. ‘I’ is eternal. ‘I’, when referring to the body, is temporary. ‘I’, when used to refer to the mind, is ego.


Now, my friends, I want to draw your attention to this important point: So long as we think, ‘I am the mind,’ the cycle of birth and death repeatedly happens. The mind is the ego. ‘I am the mind’ means ‘I am the ego.’ When I identify myself with my mind, then there is this cycle of birth and death:

Punarapi Jananam Punarapi Maranam.

Once I am convinced and I have experienced that I am not the mind, oh! Then, what am I? I am the soul, I am the spirit, I am the consciousness, I am the awareness, I am eternal, I am immortal. Then the cycle of birth and death is cut off. The link is gone. That is amrita or Immortality.

In a sentence, I can say that Immortality is nothing but killing of one’s own ego. I think I am clear. The killing of the ego is Immortality. Who is going to kill my ego?

I can call somebody to kill me (my body), but he won’t do it because he will be put behind bars. I can call somebody to kill my mind, but he won’t do it because he will get it back. To kill my mind means to insult me, praise me or make me a monkey. The one who goes by the vagaries of the mind, the one gets elated, depressed, frustrated by the ups and downs, the bumps and jumps, is just a monkey in human form. So, come on, if you say you can play with my mind, it only means that you can make a beautiful demonstration of the jumps of the monkey! I am not prepared. No! The present form is enough! Why another extra (monkey) form? (Laughter). So, I won’t allow myself to be played upon.

I am not the mind. I am not the body either. If I think I am the body, you can torture this body - slash, lash, whip it, and make it out of shape. If I think I am the body, you can handle it. If I think I am the mind, you can manage it. But I am really the spirit, soul or Atma, which you cannot touch or manage. This real ‘I’ is independent! But so long as I think I am the body, anybody can manage me.

“Oh, Anil Kumar! You are very handsome.”

“Is that so? (Laughter) Have you come to know that this morning? What happened to you all these years?” (Laughter)

Somebody else may say, “Anil Kumar! We are very sorry. You were better last year.”

“Oh I see. Am I so awful this year? Then I don’t want to meet you this afternoon, okay? (Laughter) Instead I will look for somebody who will at least praise me!” (Laughter)

If somebody says, “There is no change in you!”

“Is that so? I feel happy.” (Laughter)

How can there be changelessness? There is bound to be change. If anyone says there has been no change; that is bogus. (Laughter) There is bound to be change. You may not be able to know. You may not be able to see it with the eyes. Change is not that glaring, not that awful so as to be seen on the face. I think I am clear. So, I am not the body to be commented upon. I am not the mind to be played with. I am the spirit or the soul, which is not in your hands. You cannot play with that. Why?

The spirit in me, the Atma in me, is very much the same in you. You cannot play with your Self. I am yet to see anybody who will say, “I am awful.” Nobody will say that. I have yet to come across a person who says, “I am a useless fellow.” Though in reality he is useless, he would not admit it! (Laughter) No one wants to humiliate himself. No one would like to condemn one’s Self.

The Self in you is very much the same as the Self in me. The being in you is very much the same as the being in me. The conscience exists in you as it exists in me. The conscience in all of us is equal to consciousness. This consciousness is the same in everybody. Therefore, no one would condemn one’s own Self.

Once I know that I am consciousness, the very core of life, the very being, there is neither birth nor death. Death happens only to the body. It is the body that is born; it is the body that dies. So long as I feel I am the mind, yes, birth and rebirth continue. Mind is like a tape recorder with all kinds of songs and sounds. Mind is like a computer, with all the material fed into it – good and bad. This mind is responsible for the body to come again and again. Once I am convinced that I am neither the body nor the mind, that I am the deep spirit or being in me, then that is the state of Immortality. One does not have to die for that.

Killing one’s own ego is the way. How to kill one’s ego? Some say meditation is the way to kill the ego. “Well, sir, I do not know how to meditate. However, there are many people who will show several methods to meditate. Some charge, some are free of cost. (Laughter) Some offer training classes, some say you are unfit to meditate. (Laughter) Oh God, what shall I do?”

Then there is the path of love. The path of love and the path of meditation are equal. The rupee is the currency in India, while the dollar is the currency in America; but both are currency, that’s all. The path of love and the path of meditation are one and the same.


“I don’t know how to love.”

I see. Trees can love. Animals can love. If you cannot love, something is wrong with you. Right from childhood, the child starts loving the mother. The child starts loving his or her brothers and sisters. As the child grows, he starts loving friends. Then he gets married to his better half, and loves his wife and all the relatives. When employed, he starts making friends with the colleagues in the office. He loves his own country. So, we are born with the quality of love.

Nobody can say, “How to love?” Nobody would say, “Where is love?” No! Love is the very centre of our life. Once we practice loving unconditionally, yes, that kills our ego. How to kill the ego? Only by loving! By hating, you cannot kill your ego. By hating somebody, your ego grows more and more. If there is enmity, yes, ego will grow all the more. Then you are manicuring or feeding your ego. Enmity, apathy, hatred, and jealousy -- they all feed the ego. Who is jealous? The egoistic man is jealous. Who is envious? The egoistic man is envious. Who is proud? The egoistic man is proud.

Who is humble? A loving man is humble. Who is friendly? A man of love is friendly. Who co-operates? A loving man does. So, all noble qualities are centred in this four-letter word: LOVE. Once this path of love is there, ego is naturally gone. When I love you, it means that I see a quality in you that I want. You have a quality that I lack. Or, it could mean that our qualities are compatible, so I love you. I think I am clear. When you start loving, you lose your separateness, you lose your identity and you lose your ego. That egolessness is love. That path of love is Immortality.

Although we say we love, in reality, we do not love. No! Why? We like the idea of being in love. We are happy thinking that we are loving; yet we do not love. Again, you may think that something is wrong with Anil Kumar. (Laughter) ‘He said a moment back that there is no birth and no death, and now he says that I don’t love anybody. What’s all this?’ My friends, let us analyse this.

We don’t love anybody. We think that we love someone else. We like the idea of being in love, similar to the Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare. William Shakespeare wrote a beautiful comedy, Twelfth Night. In it, there is a rogue by the name of Duke Orsino. Duke Orsino feels very happy with the idea of being in love. We are very much like him.

Why? We are not prepared to love because love is dangerous. ‘Is that so?’ Yes! We are not prepared to really love because it is death to our ego. We stray away from love because it is a kind of suicide. We have no idea of real love because it leads to the death of our ego. Why? Is love such a torture? Yes, it is! When I start loving, I should necessarily lose my ego. However, I am not prepared to lose my ego. I say, “Helloooo,” but that hello comes out of a mountain of ego! I like you, but that liking comes out of my ego. In reality, that is not real love.


Love comes out of emptiness. When you are empty, you can love. It is like being a bamboo stick. Shepherds loved Jesus Christ because they had emptied themselves. A devotee loves God because he has emptied himself. The unlettered girls of Brindavan, whom we call gopis, loved Krishna because they remained empty. Shepherds loved Christ because they were empty. I love him, but I am not empty. Understand? So, Love means getting oneself emptied, being totally empty.

Last night, I was talking to a Telugu-speaking brother. I gave him this example: The flute adorned the Divine Lips of Lord Krishna. Through the beautiful instrument of the flute, Krishna breathes and makes it play the Divine melody. The Divine melody is heard through this instrument of the flute. Many cowherd girls or gopis were interested to know the secret behind it. When Krishna was found asleep with the flute just dropped on the ground by Him, the gopis came close to the flute.

They said, “How lucky you are! We just have a glimpse of Krishna. That’s all. How lucky you are to be on the lips of Krishna! Aha! He breathes into you! Abba… How lucky you are! What good fortune have you done in the past? What merit did you earn in past lives? Dear flute let us know the secret behind it. How did you love Krishna? You must have an incessant, strong, fathomless, depth of love for Krishna that made Him keep you on His lips.”

The flute starts laughing, “O fool! I have not done anything! You are also as much a flute as myself. I have nine holes, so do you. (Laughter) With all nine holes, I am a bamboo stick -- empty, hollow inside, while you are full of arrogance, hatred, avarice and what not. Make yourself empty; then you will also play."


My friends, we are not prepared for that. We approach others with no love at all. In the very introduction itself we say, “I am the conveyor, you know that?”

“Why should I know that you are the conveyor?” (Laughter)

“I have been coming here for the last fifteen years?”

“I am not a service register, so why should I know?”

We take every opportunity to speak of ourselves. So long as this sense of I-ness, so long as the trace of ‘mine’ is there, that is a silent, subtle ego.

Or, one may have the humility of ego. He has an ego, which expresses silently in some form or other. “Have you heard about the great Sai centre that did so many activities? I belong to that centre.”

“So what?” (Laughter) It is the ego, that’s all. The more we want to drive out the ego, the more it gets in silently, secretly and unnoticed.

Suppose I have a pet cat. I love my pet and offer it milk. In turn, the pet loves me equally. One day, totally fed up with it, I drive it out, sent it out of the home. Then suddenly, I find it jumping in through the window or getting in through the back door. Though I want to drive it out, it finds its own entry back in.

Similarly, the more particular you are to remove ego, the more particular it is to get back in. It is not just the property of this life. Instead, we have accrued it over the past hundreds of lives, with interest and compound interest! (Laughter) Like the sea and the Himalayas, it cannot be annihilated; it cannot be removed all of a sudden.


With ego, you cannot love. This is a fundamental, basic principle. With ego, you cannot love; it is only lust. It is only attachment. It is only courtesy. It is only etiquette. It is only formal. It is only branded as ‘good manners’, like being respectful and being dignified in society. But, actual love, that is spiritual love, exists only where there is no ego.

To remove ego is very painful and scorching. To lose my ego, I have to suffer excruciating pain. I want recognition; I want prestige; I want compliments; I want to be felicitated; I want some status. So, how do we lose all that?

I am not telling the truth when I say, “I love you.” No, because there is ego in me. How to ‘kill’ ego? The only way to kill ego is to be conscious of one’s own awareness. To kill ego is to develop the spirit of surrender, or I can say, to develop choiceless awareness.

Choiceless awareness is a beautiful word, which I want you to remember. Choiceless awareness is the way to kill the ego. It is the way to develop the spirit of Love. What is choicelessness?

“I love Baba, if He talks to me (Laughter) and everyone in Kulwant Hall notices. (Laughter) When Swami is talking to somebody, I stretch my neck like a giraffe, to steal his opportunity, to grab his fortune and respond on behalf of the other fellow, with whom Swami is speaking.” This is ego.

“Swami, I love You very much, provided I get a promotion, a suitable son-in-law, and clearance from the government for the new business which I am starting.” (Laughter) That is not choicelessness. It is full of choices. But, love is choiceless. True love is choiceless!

“Oh God, I love You, come what may! What is happening here in my life has nothing to do with the romance between You and me. There is a Divine Romance going on, Oh God, between You and me. This romance has nothing to do with results.”

I love my son, whether he gets through the examination or successfully fails the examination. (Laughter) His passing or his failure has nothing to do with love. I love him as a son, is it not so?

I love my parents, irrespective of anything. They may satisfy my demands, or they may say ‘no’ to certain requests; yet, I love them. Is it not so? So, it is love for love’s sake. Choicelessness is love. Choicelessness is prayer. Choicelessness is religion. That choiceless awareness is the way to kill ego.

Unless ego is killed, we cannot love people in the true sense. Suppose you say that you love me and expect me tomorrow morning at 10 o’clock. “Mr. Anil Kumar, would you meet me in the morning at 10 o’clock?”

Suppose I don’t come there at 10 o’clock. In the evening, I should be ready to face the music. (Laughter) Why? Your love is conditional. Because I have not turned up, because I have not kept my promise, because I have not appeared at the appointed time, all your love has transformed into vapour. (Laughter) How can we call that love?

Therefore, my friends, the so-called love we express is not at all true love. We are not loving people, but we like the idea of loving people. That’s all! The husband thinks that the wife loves him. The wife thinks the husband loves her. When they say ‘no’ to each other, we will find them in the court, ready for separation! (Laughter) What happened to this love? Can I say love at all? No! She is egoistic, while this fellow is an incarnation of ego. (Laughter)

Therefore, love that is conditional, love that is full of preferences and choices, cannot be love in spirit. To kill one’s own ego is very painful. Therefore my friends, love without ego is true love. Egolessness is love in spirit!


To kill one’s own ego is torture. To kill one’s own ego is painful.

Everyday, I am used to sitting in the first row. If a seva dal volunteer wants me to sit in the third row, I feel lost. Third row isn’t enough. I sit there in the first row as if that place was registered for me, as if I was born to sit in there! In truth, thousands have occupied that place. Now they are no more. And soon, I am going to join that list! (Laughter) We have left our properties; we have left our families; but we are not prepared to leave our seats! (Laughter) First row, that’s all! (Laughter)

Yet, the Holy Bible says, “The first on earth will be the last in heaven.” (Laughter) Clearly, the Holy Bible says that the first-of-the-first on earth will be the last-of-the-last, if not the least, in heaven. It is speaking figuratively. It is a literary statement, which means that we should not struggle to be first because love is natural. Love is not a struggle. Without ego, love becomes a matter of pleasure. Love is a lovely dream. Love is nectarine.

Love is eternal, if I kill my ego. But killing the ego is painful. That’s why, my friends, love is death. Love is a spiritual death because killing of one’s own ego is as painful as death, as excruciatingly painful as death itself.

This morning, my friends, my special appeal to everyone, including this self here, is to cross out this ego as early as possible. The greatest obstacle between God and me is this ego. That’s all. Seva dals are not obstacles. (Laughter) The tenth row, the fifteenth row, or the few rows in front of me are not the barriers. The biggest of the barriers, the worst of the obstacles, is my own mind, my own ego. The sooner I remove it, the sooner will I find my own reflection in God. God sees Himself in me. That is the culmination of the Divine Romance.

Once the Divine Romance of being together happens, you are with your Beloved. There starts the cosmic dance. The cosmic dance is Nataraja. Or you hear Krishna in the cosmic dance with the cowherd girls at Brindavan. Rasaleela is the cosmic dance of Krishna in the company of the cowherd girls. Is it a dance that we can think of at the terrestrial level? No! It is a cosmic dance, a dance celestial. The dance celestial is the individual, being one with the Divine. The cosmic dance, rasaleela, is the unity of jeeva with Deva, the individual with the whole. The individual, being with the whole, is rasaleela.


All my suffering, all my pain, is because I think I am a separate entity. When I think I am not separate, I am with the whole! Once you are with the whole, you are full. That’s egolessness. Egolessness is nothing but the experience of being one with the whole. It is an absence of separateness, an absence of identity.

Then I am fit for the cosmic dance. Then I am one with God and the Divine Romance. If at all I am going to be romantic, let me be romantic with God Himself. If at all I am going to have a beloved, let me have God as ever Beloved. Why? Because He and I are One.

Everybody loves one’s own self. I have not seen anyone who hates his own self. “Well, I hate myself, Mr. Anil Kumar.”

“Better you consult a psychiatrist.” (Laughter)

My friends, the one who cannot love one’s own self cannot love anybody. The one who cannot respect one’s own self cannot respect anybody. The one who cannot excuse himself cannot excuse anybody. There are even people who derive great joy in condemning themselves.

“You know, Anil Kumar, how bad I was before coming to Bhagavan?”

“You say you are transformed; you say you were not that good before. You are ashamed of it, so why do you want to repeat it?” This replay of past actions is not necessary. Yet, he does it because he feels happy in condemning himself.

“You know how angry I was then?”

“I see. I can imagine that you must have been a buffalo.” (Laughter)

“You may know how prestigious I was.”

“Now you are no longer. You have gone into history.”

Why do you always think of the past? My friends this sort of getting into the past is a sign of ego.

“I may be sitting in the temple today, but in my office, I am the chief executive!”

So what! (Laughter) This is ego, a show is ego, an advertisement is ego. Priding one’s own self is ego. Jubilation, elation and frustration are ego; whereas to be equal-minded, to be equanimous, or to go beyond is egolessness is a sign of real Love.


So, what is Love? Love is a state that is beyond happiness and unhappiness. Love is a state beyond positivity and negativity. Love is a state beyond life affirmative and life negative. Are we really in possession of that Love? I do not think so. Because Love is blissful, it will show on the face. I cannot say, “I love you,” sourly. OK! (Laughter)

Love is not seriousness. Have you ever observed Bhagavan with a serious face? Bhagavan acts to be serious. We act to smile. That is the difference. We act to smile, while He acts to be serious! We are comfortable with our seriousness, because then nobody will seek a favour from us. (Laughter) We can always be held in prestige, in dignity and status if we maintain seriousness. We are comfortable with our seriousness until we are totally sick in the hospital. This seriousness takes us to the hospital, (Laughter) while bliss will make us eternal. Smiling will make us healthy; seriousness will make us sick.

God is blissful. God is Bliss. Bliss is God. What is that bliss? There may be fifty thousand people for birthday; there may be twenty-five thousand people for Christmas; there may be only five thousand people on other days; there may be only twenty people in Kodaikanal; or there may be half-a-dozen in the Poonachandra Hall where He stays. Yet, He remains ever blissful. Half a dozen, twenty, twenty thousand or fifty thousand, He is always blissful!

This won’t happen to us. When there are huge crowds to hear my talk, abba, bliss at its zenith! When the whole hall is empty, I feel like committing suicide. (Laughter) Numbers outside affect me. I am affected by the response from outside. But God is not affected by numbers. No! He is attracted by the quality, not by the quantity. He is not bothered about your response.

My friends, I do not know how many of you are familiar with a statement made by Bhagavan: “I am not interested in what I am telling you. I am not interested in what I am saying to you.”

“Oh, I see. You are not interested? (Laughter) When You are not interested, how should I be interested? Why?” (Laughter)

Swami’s answer is so simple! Let that answer ring in your ears over the year 2004. What did He say?

“I am not interested in what I am telling you. I am not interested in what I am saying to you. I am interested in what is happening in you.”

“I am interested in what is happening in you,” means transformation should happen, reform should happen. You should regret and you should repent for not having been close to Him. You have not yet gotten to the top of Self-inquiry. That strong inner desire has not yet stepped into your life. Baba is interested in what is happening within us, not what we hear outside.

Somebody was saying, “Swami said this about charity. Swami said that one should be charitable. Swami said that one should sacrifice.”

I said slowly and silently, “My brother, I too heard His talk.”

Swami’s words, Swami’s discourses, are not to be praised. Who are you to praise His discourse? (Laughter) You have to practice. Sai messages are not for praise. They are for practice. Unless we walk along the path of Jesus, we shall not reach the state of heaven. Unless we walk along the path of Sathya Sai’s Divine discourses, we shall not get into the gates of heaven. It is impossible to experience that paradise. It is impossible to experience that state of heaven. It is impossible to think of amrita, the Immortality.


So, amrita, the Immortality, is the experience of His teachings, is the experience of His words in our daily lives. Moreover, my friends, why does God talk? He talks so that we may remain silent. (Laughter)

You may wonder, “Am I not silent?” No!

You appear silent by holding your lips tight or by refraining from talk, but there are thoughts and counter thoughts because the brain has become an open market. (Laughter) It’s a market like the Connaught Place in Delhi or the China Bazaar or the Pondy Bazaar. The brain is a workshop. It is thinking, “I am going to meet that person. How do I encounter him? If that person says this, what should I say? If Swami comes this way how can I get in?”

He won’t come in any way! (Laughter) All our planning, all our management, all our manoeuvring, all our manipulation goes on and on. The cassette is played and replayed again and again, wind and rewind. Can I say that I am silent? No! If you are really silent, your face will be happy. Watch those people who are in silence: watch those faces that are full of tension and hypertension. Their high blood pressure makes them look like they are ready to collapse at any moment. (Laughter) That is not the sign of silence.

Just look at the pictures of Christ. Nobody photographed Jesus on the cross. His image is all in the imagination of the painter. The painter had a revelation within himself. When you pray to God, you become a painter. If you are a painter, God gets into your brush and you start painting Jesus. Yes! Jesus is right over there.

If you are a writer and if you pray, God gets into your words. Gods gets into your pen; then comes the poetry. Poetry occurs when God takes charge of your writing. When God does not take charge of your writing, it is only a verse; it is prosaic. Once God takes charge of you, the prose becomes poetry. When God possesses you, a line becomes a picture. When God blesses you, a dancer becomes a super dancer, a cosmic dancer, a divine dancer.

So, my friends, God is our poetry. God is our melody. God is our heaven. God is our paradise. God is our dance. That is Love! It can happen provided I-ness is gone, provided the ego is totally forgotten.

This year 2004 should be full of attempts, repeated attempts, to kill our ego, delete our ego, demolish our ego, so that we can have the vision of the Divine, so that we can peep into our own image and we can see our own selves in Bhagavan. I can see my own image in Him. He can see His own image in me. Bhagavan sees His own image in all of us. Therefore, He loves all. As I don’t see my own image in Him, I feel apart from Him, I feel separated from Him. When I see that He is separate, I am here.

So, coming straight to the point my friends, God talks so that we may be silent!


Silent means thoughtless; silent means egoless. Silence means without inner talk. We go on talking within ourselves. Do we know that? If there is any electronic device to be discovered in the future, if that electronic device or electronic gadget is fixed to our brain, which goes on forever arguing and arguing -- I am sure nobody will be near us. (Laughter) Outer is personality, while inner is municipality! (Laughter)

Therefore, my friends, once I am totally faithful, there are no thoughts whatsoever. Then I am really silent. When I am really silent, God need not speak. God need not speak because He is not separate. I have found He and I being One -- that His being is my being. God, as a being, is total. God, as a being, is seen in totality. God, as a person, just talks with you.

My friends, let us first understand that true Love is silence. If one goes on speaking, “I love you, I love you”, it is not a mantra to be repeated. (Laughter) The more you say, “I love you,” I can understand the hidden enmity within you, the hidden prejudice in you, that you want to settle scores with me some day, as you say, “I love you.” You need not say it. Your actions will speak of the depth of love. Love is not told. Love is silence. Love is truth. Love is tremendous. Love is egolessness. Love is painful. Love is risky. It is risky because we may have to appreciate that the other man is better than us, which we are not prepared to do.

Therefore, time and again, Bhagavan speaks of Love. Certainly He is aware that He is speaking on the same theme. People ask me, “Why does Swami speaks of Love every time, all these seventy years? Is He not fed up with Love?” (Laughter)

He is not fed up with Love because He is Love. How can He be fed up with Himself? (Laughter) Impossible! Sugar cannot choose to be sour or bitter. Sugar continues to be sweet. Because He is Love, He is not fed with Himself. He speaks of Himself, Love. That’s all. When He speaks of Love, He is speaking of Himself.

“All right let Him speak to Himself. Why should He speak to me?”

He speaks to me because I do not know what Love is. I mistake something else for Love. I like the idea of being in love. I do not know that true Love is egolessness; that true Love is not simply humility. Love is not a bargain. Love is not a compromise. Love is not a business deal. Love is supreme. Love is Divine.

Until we understand, He goes on bringing it to us, hammering into us what Love means. This rock is so hard that it refuses to be chiselled, polished, and made into a beautiful idol. It remains a boulder. It remains a stone, indifferent. Therefore, He goes on chiselling me. He goes on playing with me with a hammer until I am shaped into an idol of egolessness, of total and unconditional surrender, which is a mark of Love.

My friends, I do not know how, but Swami wanted me to say these words this morning. I am also part of this game. I don’t consider myself separate from anybody. Let Bhagavan help each of us to reflect within ourselves.

As a body, Bhagavan is breathing through me. As a mind, Bhagavan is thinking through me. As an intellect, Bhagavan is helping me to meditate on Him. As a being, He and I are One. That should be the next rung in the ladder of spiritual life or religion, for that matter.

At different levels, let us develop the spirit of awareness – that choiceless awareness, alertness, and wakefulness, full of understanding of what He has said. Let us remain silent, so that we can love Him more. Let us remain silent so that we can realise Truth. Let us remain silent to experience Peace. Truth and Peace are just manifestations of the Divine.

In the days to come, may Bhagavan bless all of us. Thank you very much. (Applause)


I have a few questions that I received by e-mail. I shall try to answer them as quickly as possible because they don’t need long answers. They were kind enough to have asked me short questions. OK!

Q. “Why does Swami stare at His devotees during car darshan? It happened to me twice.”

Swami staring at you has become a trouble here! (Laughter) Swami not staring at you has become a trouble elsewhere! (Laughter) “Why is Swami looking at me?” is my problem. “Why is Swami not looking at me?” is another man’s problem! So, what should He do now? Look at you or not look? (Laughter)

Swami looking at you is an act of mercy. Swami staring at you is an act of grace. Swami staring at you is an act of compassion. Swami staring at you is recognition. “Hi! How are you?” He does that so you do not feel ignored.

Swami staring at you also can mean, “I know what you are doing. I also know what you are doing elsewhere!” (Laughter)

Or, “How saintly you are, how simple within! I know it all!”

Depending upon the individual, this staring has its own interpretation. Suppose a person is feeling neglected, as Swami has not looked at him. He feels horrible…oh la la! (Laughter) “What have I come all this way for, oh Lord? I am crying; I am desperate!”

Then when He stares at you, it is something like a shower of rain on hot summer. We welcome rain. When the raindrops touch the soil, there we find beauty. When Swami looks at you a feeling comes, which is beyond words, beyond narration, beyond all estimation, beyond all parameters and known measures.

Suppose Swami stares at you while you are thinking, “Oh Bhagavan, I am in deep problems! I am in trouble. I do not know what to do and what not to do. Bhagavan, right now I do not have mental peace.” When He stares at you, He is sending forth the fountain of peace, the fountain of joy.

Suppose I am full of complaints inside. “Swami, I deserve a better deal than what You are giving me! (Laughter) I should be given a higher post. Don’t You know that much? The present post You have given me is so low.” The heart is full of complaints, but I smile outside because society demands it. Let not others think that I am not a devotee. (Laughter) I want others to think that I am also a devotee, so I smile while having all sorts of complaints inside.

In that case, Swami stares at the inner complaint, and wonders at the outer smile! God looks into the inner, not the outer. That’s what His staring means. So, God staring at you depends upon your situation at that particular point of time.

Science can be generalised; mathematics can be generalised; but spirituality is wholly, totally individualistic. So I cannot interpret on somebody’s behalf. I cannot explain on somebody’s behalf. How hungry you are, I cannot say. How thirsty you are, I cannot say. What the particular stare you received meant, I do not know. What is in you, I do not know.

Anyway, this way or that way, Swami staring at us is really like moonlight. Swami staring at us is a cool breeze. Swami staring at us is as beautiful as sunrise. Swami staring at us is something like a cloud that passes by. It is so nice to look at. Swami staring at us is something like a mighty ocean, full of waves, turbulent waves. Swami staring at us is like a banquet, right in front of us, when we are very, very hungry. Swami staring at us is like a nice sleep that we experience after sleepless nights. It is the joy of joys. That’s what I can say about it.

Q. “There are 120 members in a samithi and they want to organise into two groups. In one group, there are devotees with instruments, capable of singing. In the other group, they are not that talented. What should we do?” (Laughter)

My friends, we don’t go there just for music, do we? If it is for music, there are casinos elsewhere; (Laughter) there are restaurants elsewhere; there is pop music elsewhere, calling for attention like Michael Jackson’s music. Why not, (Laughter) right?

We go to a centre for peace. You are thinking, “Because a Sai centre has more singers, let me not go there.” It is not the singing that is important; it is the meaning of the song. So long you think of the singer, you are a sinner. (Laughter) When you speak of a song, yes, you are Divine. You should become a song, not a singer.

What is the difference between a singer and a song? Singer is conscious of the people listening to him. Singer is conscious of the previous singer. And the singer is also thoughtful of the next singer. The singer aims to be No.1 for that bhajan session. (Laughter) He is just an ordinary singer. But a listener, who joins in chorus, singing in joy, not thinking of the singer at all, thinks of the song. He becomes the song himself. That is Divine. Be a song and not a singer.

Therefore, my friends, our preference is not for singers and instruments. Our preference should be towards vibration. When I am in the company of a knowledgeable man, I feel energetic; I feel dynamic; I feel active. Suppose I am in the company of a dunce, (Laughter), a worldly fellow, and an egoistic fellow. After some time, I feel exhausted. He doesn’t handle me; there is no resonance between us. Still, I feel very weak. Why? Vibrations!

Therefore, vibrations are more important. What kind of ‘vibe’ do you get? What kind of feelings do you get? The kind of commitment you feel is more important than the numbers and the talent.

Q. “If death is the dress of life, which means we should not be afraid of death, then what do we do with the Mahamrutyunjaya mantra? Should we chant it or not?”

Mahamrutyunjaya mantra is the mantra that is to be chanted to be deathless. The aim is correct, but that does not mean that those who chant the Mahamrutyunjaya mantra will never die. (Laughter) In the beginning, I said that we never die because we were never born. As I was never born, who is going to die? Nobody! When there is no birth, there is no death.

Therefore, my friends, Mrutyunjaya mantra will help you to know that your consciousness or your spirit is deathless. It is not insurance for your body to be eternal! (Laughter) Even if our body were eternal, it would be useless. It would be a curse because we could not walk, we could not eat and we could not sit. We would have to lie down like a vegetable. Would you like eternity like that? (Laughter) No, I don’t want it. So long as I am alive, I want to be active and I want to be smart. Let me go to the other world like this and not totally bed-ridden.

Therefore, the Mrutyunjaya mantra helps you to know the Divinity within. It also ensures that there is no untimely death. When the flight is to be there at 12 o’clock in the afternoon, if the flight reaches two hours earlier, at 10 o’clock, we are not happy because we expected it to arrive there at 12:00 noon.

There may be some people who get ‘promoted’ even before. When God has granted a hundred years of life to some, others die at a young age. Well, they have already reached their destination. Mrutyunjaya mantra is chanted so that there would be no untimely death. It is chanted to know eternity, not to remain deathless. A second-hand body would be hopeless. It is not worth it. (Laughter)

Q. “Why has Swami recently begun Vedic chanting? Is there a particular reason why this is done at this particular time? Music can have a great pacifying influence on people.”

Others may have questions like this. Sometime back, Swami had only music programs. The music college students, little fellows, used to sit and sing daily. Why did no one ask this question then, “Why is there music everyday?” It is only a question today: “Why Veda now?” (Laughter)

My friends, the first thing we have to do is to forget this question, “Why?” Let us forget this question of why. “Why should He call you? Why not me? Why should you get an interview? Why not me? Why should you be given a ring? Why not me?”

‘Why’ should be forgotten! ‘Why’ is worldly; ‘why not’ is worldly. Acceptance is surrender, and spirituality calls for total acceptance.

As far as our thought can stretch forward, Veda chanting may be required more than ever before. If you go through the newspaper and watch TV, you know why the chanting is in great demand. Individually, we are not at peace. In our family, we are not at peace. In our community, we are not at peace. At the level of the world, there is no peace. Therefore, there needs to be a process of correcting or overhauling us, in order to control the body and mind. Vedic chanting is a process of overhauling.

Q. “In this time, what is the most healing music for the western over-stressed and disturbed mind? Could singing a mantra or reciting one be more beneficial?

A disturbed mind is disturbed whether it is a western mind or eastern mind. (Laughter) An agitated mind is agitated whether it is an eastern mind or western mind. A peaceful mind is in peace whether it is eastern or western. Eastern or western is geographical. It is not that eastern are human and western are super-human. It is enough if we are not demons! (Laughter)

The so-called eastern or western is only geographical. Some people from the east may settle in the west. Tell me, are they eastern or western? (Laughter) Or, some from the west may settle in the east. East and west are only directions. Let us not be bothered about it. No!

Q. “Why can’t we sing Sanskrit songs? Why sing some other songs? The world council has sent a circular that we should sing in our own language.”

I am glad that at least you want to sing Sanskrit bhajans or bhajans in your own language. Good! That’s at least a positive attitude. My friends, it is not the language that matters because there is only one language: the language of the heart. It is important whether you are singing with your heart, not whether you are singing in Telugu or Sanskrit. No, no, no! God knows all languages.

I don’t believe it is out of context if I tell you a note from my personal life. I was talking to my father and said, “Daddy, I am sorry that I don’t know Sanskrit.”

He said, “God knows your Telugu and English. It is enough.” (Laughter)

God knows your language. In trying to learn Sanskrit, let me not unlearn my mother tongue. My friends, the best way is that which is spontaneous. Because I want to please God, if I start learning Veda and start making it ugly, as awful as possible, God will have to plug His ears. (Laughter)

A group of villagers was granted an interview. Baba told them, “Nowadays, I am plugging my ears with cotton because your tunes are off. Abba! I am not able to listen! They are horrible songs because they are artificial, out of tune, out of beat and out of rhythm.”

They wanted to sing the glory of God in a particular pattern. God is not a pattern. God is not a schedule. God is not a program. He cannot be put in a computer disk or on a floppy disc. Impossible! I am sorry to say that we have become mechanical everywhere.

At home, we are mechanical. With God, we want to be mechanical, too. We have become machines. That’s why our lives are dull and tasteless. We have castor oil faces (Laughter) with no smile, machine smiles. We also refuse to smile because our life has become mechanical.

So, my friends, the best way to pray to God depends upon your mood at that moment: your feelings, your emotions, your condition, your state of mind at that moment. Just be spontaneous! Being instantaneous at that moment is prayer.

A prayer that is programmed, a prayer that is designed, a prayer that has a pattern, is no prayer at all. A prayer that is an outburst, a spontaneous outpouring of one’s own heart, is prayer. Please remember that the instantaneous, spontaneous outpouring of a human heart is a prayer; it is not repeating something that has been said before.

Q. “The Sai organisation is seen as a sect because of Hinduistic influence. Does Swami want to comment on this?”

Baba is not a Hindu. Baba is not a Christian. Baba is not a Muslim. Baba is beyond. Religion is dogma; religion is fanatic; religion is lunatic; while religiousness is Divine. So, if I want to talk about Baba, Baba is the combination of all religions. Baba is the essence of all religions.

If you say it is Hinduistic, better you stop it and do it in the way you like it. Swami wants a Christian to be a better Christian and a Hindu to be a better Hindu. It is not a matter of conversion. Sathya Sai is not conversion. Sathya Sai is transformation. That’s what we have to remember.

Q. “Who is the next Avatar?” (Laughter)

I see! (Laughter) Have you completed the quota of the present Avatar? (Laughter) “I don’t know” means, “I am disappointed now. I hope to meet Him in the next Avatar.” (Laughter)

The next Avatar comes after my present life, so let me put this question in the next life and (Laughter) not now. My friends, these kinds of futuristic questions based on astrology, based on the time, are meaningless spiritually-speaking. Religion is not future. Religion is not past. Religion is here and now! Please understand. Here and now is religion! God is here and now! God is not the past! God is not the future! Let us not ask questions like this.

Q. How many sons did Shiva have? (Laughter)

I am sure not as many as I have! (Laughter) As far as the mythological story goes, He had two beautiful sons -- Ganesha and Subrahmanyam. But they are not the sons of our imagination. Shiva was not human; please understand this is necessary first to beget children. (Laughter)

We have sufficient problems with our family and children. (Laughter) We have sons who turn out to be prodigal. Let not Shiva also repent for begetting such sons. (Laughter)

To begin with, Shiva was not human. Shiva is Divine. Shiva is a phenomenon. Shiva is cosmic. Shiva is infiniteness. Shiva is vastness. It is a philosophy; it is an ideology; it is energy; it is not human.

Then, what about the two sons? One represents energy. The other represents fulfilment. Effort is Subrahmanyam, the second son. Its realisation is Ganesha, the first son. So, effort is not enough; fulfilment of effort is required. Effort is Subrahmanyam; fulfilment of the effort is Ganesha. Human action is Subrahmanyam; without any obstacles is Ganesha. They are different facets of approach. They are different angles of perception. They are different views of cognisance and experience. They are not sons in the normal sense.

That’s all for this week. Thank you very much for holding on longer than usual. I really appreciate your patience.

May Bhagavan bless you!

Om Asato Maa Sad Gamaya
Tamaso Maa Jyotir Gamaya
Mrtyormaa Amrtam Gamaya

Om Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu
Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu
Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti

Jai Bolo Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Babaji ki !


Source: http://www.internety.com/anilk2004/04.01.04(E)central.htm
© Anil Kumar Kamaraju 2004 - Here reproduced for personal use of the devotees for the purpose of seva.
Anil Kumar website: http://www.internety.com/anilkhome/ - http://www.internety.com/saipearls/


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