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Anil Kumar Questions and
Answers
Question 21
The
husband is very much interested in Baba, but the wife is not. The
wife is an obstacle. So, what should the husband do?” He also has
given three alternatives: (Laughter) “One -- should he get
divorced from his wife? Number two -- should he continue along the
spiritual path? Number three -- should he give up the spiritual
path? (Laughter) These are the alternatives – maybe it is like a
multiple-choice question. (Laughter) (08.12.2002)
My friend, this is an exceptional
case! A husband finding his wife a problem along the spiritual
path is an exception. Usually the husband is the problem for every
wife! (Laughter) 90% of Sai devotees are here because of
their wives. Let all husbands be ashamed to declare it in public.
This humble self (Anil Kumar refers to himself) is also one
and the foremost. So, this case is not a matter to be ashamed of.
It is a matter to feel proud of.
If the wife is an engine, very good
-- the family will be very fine, peaceful and there’ll be no
problem. But here is an exceptional case where the wife seems to
be the problem. Wife or husband -- one of the two partners will
not totally agree with the other. So, what is to be done?
My friend, the answer is simple. If
one is totally worldly and if the other is totally spiritual,
we’ll be nowhere. But in co-existence, one takes care of
the family, while the other takes care of the spiritual end. The
wife taking care of the family is the root. The husband thinking
of God is the fruit of the same ‘family tree’. The one (wife and
mother) thinking of the family is the root, while the other
(husband and father) thinking of God is the fruit of that same
tree of life. So, let us not consider the life partner as an
opposition party leader! (Laughter) Certainly not!
Certainly not!
To give you my own tale -- for 25
years, I went around the whole state of Andhra Pradesh. I visited
thousands of Sai centres -- at least thrice on the average --
spread over those 25 years. My wife stayed back at home, taking
care of the children, my in-laws and my parents, ours being a
joint-family (an extended family, all living under one roof
together). Suppose that she had also become a competitor. What if
she had said, “If you go towards the north, I’ll go towards the
south! (Laughter) If you go and start addressing people in
the east, I’ll have audiences in the west.” Then the children
would be on the streets!
Therefore, it is the pure and
logical dynamics of life that one will be at the ‘grass roots’
while the other will be ‘in the air’. It happens like that.
Nowhere do the husband and wife agree 100%. They may agree before
TV news reporters. (Laughter) They may agree for the
television reporters, but not in reality. The family ‘Korean War’
certainly happens once in a blue moon, without which there is no
melody in life at all.
Let us not worry if the wife is not
sailing along with the husband, or if the husband is not sailing
with the wife. The husband will make the wife follow him one day.
Just as husbands are following their wives, in such cases as this
one, the wives will also follow the husbands someday. It all
depends upon one’s own life example.
For example, in a crisis, if the
husband is peaceful, the wife will learn from him. If the wife is
peaceful in the worst moments of life, the husband will learn from
her. By our example, we can certainly carry on with the other
life-partner without any sense of opposition or critical attack.
© Anil Kumar Kamaraju 2004 - Here
reproduced for personal use of the devotees for the purpose of
seva.
Anil Kumar website:
http://www.internety.com/anilkhome/ -
http://www.internety.com/anilk%2Dq%26a/ |
